I remember back in high school, things used to be so easy...meet a girl, ask her out, get parents to drive us around, hold hands, kiss, cop a feel, oral sex, sex, anal sex... everything was all planned out in this one linear path.
As I get older, dating has become a lot more complicated. Things don't always go in one direction, actually, I'm not even sure a direction exists anymore.
With Girl #1 it was:Make out, sex, oral sex, anal sex, date
With Girl #2 it was:Date, date, date, date, date, make out, date...
With Girl #3 it was:Make out, Oral sex, find out her name... never see her again
I just don't get it anymore.
What's even worse is that we have a million labels for everything, or no labels at all. A guy and a girl can be: seeing each other, dating, going out, in a relationship, complicated, casual dating, friends with benefits, etc etc... and of course there are those who refuse to use labels and who prefer to remain ambiguous.
Can someone please tell me the difference between exclusively dating and boyfriend girlfriend?
I once asked a girl what her relationship with this guy was and she replied "Oh, we're exclusively dating."
"So you're his girlfriend then?" I questioned.
"No, we're just dating...exclusively"
Errr.... o.O
And another thing, why are girls so afraid of labels? I know girls who refuse to be called a guy's girlfriend, and yet act super lovey dovey around their man and won't date anyone else. Are we really all so insecure and afraid of commitment that we will go through extreme lengths to keep some sort of artificial freedom? Even if it's as simple as refusing to admit to a label? Since when was being a
commitmentphobe cool?
As much as I love my freedom and enjoy having multiple girls around, I think I'm the type of person that's willing to give someone all of my attention and settle down if I like her enough... ambiguity is just not something I enjoy. And if that means sucking it up and slapping a silly title on everything and having her be my *cough* "Girlfriend", than so be it because the alternative is just retarded.
Thoughts?
Comments (55)
Girl #3 -- I suppose drunkness was the case?
I'm not a big fan of ambiguity either. It's either a guy is my boyfriend or he's not. And same goes when I'm dating a girl, it's either she's my girlfriend or she's not.
I'm going with the same pattern I'm accustomed to, get to know the guy/girl > ask him/her out > make out > have sex. Everyone else can follow a different one, I'll watch at sides with amusement of how they do things.
I believe it was Mae who made commitmentphobia cool. I love you Mae to bones.
i don't get it either.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend sounds sooo...official.
I'm like that, too. I prefer saying 'dating exclusively'.
i always thought dating was "testing out the waters"
Labels give some sort of boundary to a relationship~again all depends on your definitely of those terms and as well as that of your s.o.
gimme the good old days when we could club women and drag them back to our caves
I love you!
So true !!!!!!!!
you could be exclusively dating somebody and not be their boy/girl-friend because .... that's another elevation of seriousness. the next step, really.
extremely good post. thanks for the insights.
Well, for some, labels can make some feel pressured to live up to social obligations, so avoiding the labels mentally helps people cope.
It's all warped these days.
LOL, I question the same thing.
good boy. I never paid attention to the labels, but just as long as you're faithful and place all your attention on the one you're with, you're a-okay in my book.
this reminds me of calc 3; too complicated.
It is weird. I had no problem sleeping with a girl but when it came time to ask her out, it was complicated.
Oof! Very complicated. To be honest I don't know many girls who don't like being called someone's "girlfriend". That's dodgy to me.
In any case, I personally am really traditional when it comes to relationships.
With me, there's no such thing as an "open" or "casual" relationship, "no-strings" sex, cheating, "just a bit of fun", "friends with benefits", threesomes, sex that would cause me or my partner pain (incl. anal penetration/deep throat etc.) and so on and so forth. I'm not willing to share someone, and I'm not willing to be shared. I'm not an animal, and I refuse to degrade myself to that kind of level. I'll leave all of that new age crap to the slappers who want it - I certainly don't!
When I enter a relationship with someone, it's always for the long haul, unless of course it doesn't work out. When you get me, you get the whole package.
I agree, the alternative IS retarded. Why does everything have to change just because people want "more freedom" to do as they please? The old system of "this is my partner, we're in an exclusive relationship" worked just fine. Why change it all?
Heck, soon bringing home prostitutes and cheating is going to be socially acceptable. Seems to be going that way, anyhow!
GIRLS afraid of labels?! I beg to differ! It's always the guys who are afraid of commitment! -_- Boys are stupid. Dating is stupid. And college is stupid too. 8P
i love single people and their queries re dating and relationships. isn't the lack of a direction what keeps it fun?? no predictability and all that. . .
Labels are useful at times.. you know when you want to know if you're actually dating him or if you're just another whore he sleeps with on the weekends. It's absolutely necessary.
YES! i hate this unknown label in which you have to keep on guessing where/what you guys are. before you know it you see her making out w/ someone else and then your like "wtf?' we can do that?
fly to amsterdam
*yawn*
i dunno why you're even complaining. obviously you had an agenda to bust a nut on multiple girls before even to getting to know them. obviously, you weren't interested them as a gf material in the first place.on the flip side of labels, are you so insecure with the insistence of labeling of a gf? if you and a gal are happily dating or seeing or whatever you're doing with each other, then be content in doing so. labels means nothing. a girl whose your "girlfriend" will dump you just the same as a girl who you're "exclusively seeing".
dating is a roller coaster. enjoy the ride.
that banner on top of your site really sucks. did you draw that? it's really shitty and embarassing.